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What's in Your Drawers?

January 7, 2010

People’s drawers contain many things. Some of those should remain secret.  Forever. 

When my great Aunt Snappy died what they found in HER drawers (this was 40 odd years ago mind you) is still talked about in hushed and incredulous tones today. It is with disbelief, reverence and a bit of awe that we speculate. After all, she was raised in an era of women knowing their place, always wearing slips under dresses, no white before or after certain holidays, hair and makeup always being perfect – and the things they found in her drawers just didn’t belong in that world. 

One can only imagine how she even knew about and then managed to locate those objects, did she send away for them perhaps?  You can only wonder if the postman suspected just what he was delivering encased in that plain, brown wrapper…

"NO, Not the DRAWER!"

"NO, It can’t be possible – not in AUNT SNAPPY’S Drawer!?"

Remember Mary? Well, after relaying that story to her, she quickly said, “Well I’m going to put a bible in MY drawer!”

Mary thinks she can fool 'em with a bible, lolI suppose this is so people think only good things about her character and don’t find anything untoward. No “toys” for this trickster, just a holy card and maybe a rosary, even though she’s not even Catholic. But hey, what if you got hit by a bus or something and you didn’t have time to put those good things in there yet? Just like judgment day, you’d better prepare for that eventuality ASAP, right, Mary?  Yikes!

You found WHAT in her drawers?As I unpacked and was putting things from box to dresser drawer, I found something rather interesting and disturbing about my drawers. It was like an epiphany to see what I’ve come to know and accept. They say life with pain is not normal, but for me it is and has been for nearly 15 years. I can’t imagine not feeling it to be honest, it is my constant companion.

What with the move and consolidation, I now have 2 drawers stuffed with acute injury/chronic pain coping devices from years of existing with auto immune diseases like CFS, fibromyalgia, Sjogren’s, arthritis, various osteo-injuries, and the affects of auto accidents that damaged neck, back, shoulder, and forever diminished my quality of life.

I used to have this paraphernalia all spread throughout my house, so was never fully confronted with the magnitude of it. Without even knowing it, I’ve gone from living fully to pain management, pain survival. But my let my drawers (and various boxes) tell the story.

    • 2 well-worn neck braces
    • 2 mid arm wraps
    • 1 lumbar support
    • 1 mid-back support
    • 2 arm slings
    • 3-4 ace bandage wraps
    • various sizes of under-the-brace cotton sleeves
    • 1 neck traction device (it looks like something from a torture movie or my Aunt Snappy’s drawer!)
    • 1 night wrist brace
    • 1 day wrist brace
    • 1 TENS unit plus a generous supply of sticky conduction pads (had 2, gave one to my mom)
    • 1 bed lift device
    • 1 spinal retraction machine
    • 1 each of easy, medium, and hard exercise bands from physical therapy
    • 1 over the door arm stretching device
    • 2 sizes of exercise balls
    • various tapes, DVD’s, diagrams and instructions on yoga, stretching, exercises to relieve pain…
    • 1 “the ball method” pain relief system
    • 1 downloaded “tapping” method of pain relief instructions
    • 1 downloaded series on channeling energy, another on Reiki healing
    • 1 downloaded instructional series on “the seed method” of pain relief
    • assorted magnets, crystals, minerals, metals, and stones that promote healing
    • earth shoes (for my poor foot)
    • orthopedic “brace” shoes, inserts, pads
    • 4 heating pads (1 has vibration and 1 wraps around your lower back and velcro’s in the front!)
    • 1 pink neck pillow
    • 1 giant triangle foam bed support
    • 1 shower stool for when your back hurts too bad to stand up
    • 1 sack of seeds (the kind that you heat up and put on)

That’s just the start. In the freezer I have 8 ice packs in various shapes and sizes. The medicine closet houses the Aspercreme, Bio-Freeze Gel, Flexeril, Advil, Tylenol and Bufferin. (Tried but tossed are the rubs with capsasin or anything else that burns – they hurt me and make me break out.) My mother swears by horse liniment, I haven’t tried that yet. Maybe next flare…

So, Mary – in light of my recent drawer revelation, I rather think I’ll just plant something naughty in there specifically for folks to exclaim over. It’s only fair to cause a bit of mischief after enduring this misery for so long. Anyhow, just imagine their chagrin when they find all of the trappings of my infirmities in concert with the unmentionables. I can hear that conversation, "how did she manage to use these (delicately picking up a "toy" with rubber-gloved fingers), when she had to use all of these (indicating the neck braces etc.)?"

What’s in YOUR drawers?

shocked

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 7, 2010 1:08 pm

    Too funny on your aunt, but WOW! on your items! Speechless. I will say the seed sack is my fave. It makes so much feel better, and even calms a pain free, but restless, body.

  2. princessrunninglips permalink
    February 13, 2010 8:31 am

    the ball method pain relief sounds….relieving
    i have my naughty item in the same drawer as my bible…i pray a lot when batteries are fresh
    funny blog my love

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