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Band-aid Post

December 30, 2009

What’s a band-aid post?  It just covers the wound until a healthy post can be got!  Sorry to be so long – what with the move, company, the holidays and injuring my back, then my wrist (sprained) from trying to protect my back – well, time has passed quickly.  Here are some quotes to tide us over until I can type with more than 1 hand…

Observations

 Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.’

–  Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: – ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’

– Eleanor Roosevelt 

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

– Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible

– George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

– Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

– Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

– Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

– Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

– Jimmy Durante

I have never  hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

– Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

– Alex Levine

 My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

– Rodney Dangerfield

Money can’t buy you happiness … But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

– Spike Milligan

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .

– Joe Namath

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.

– Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..

– W. C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

– Will Rogers

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation.   As you grow older, it will avoid you.

– Winston Churchill

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..

– Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.

– Billy Crystal

And the cardiologist’s diet:

–  If it tastes good spit it out.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 30, 2009 3:39 pm

    I like what Mrs Roosevelt said about having a rose named after her!
    I hope you are feeling better for the New Year.

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  1. Twitted by MaidenShade

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