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Worth Repeating

December 15, 2009

Here is link to a video message from Santa.  You fill in the info and he’ll send an E-mail with a video link for your kid(s). 

The Story:

Bailey (she’s 7 this year) got one, and was so excited she had to call me and was almost screaming in the phone!  

Be aware: Santa mentions how he saw the child, so make sure they’ve actually “seen” Santa or be prepared with a story.  We told Bailey (who hadn’t sat on Santa’s lap yet), to remember that she saw Santa at the mall.  So maybe she hadn’t sat on his lap, but she did “see” him, and he must have seen her!


"Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas  decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down.

  1. First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.
  2. Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy).

By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn’t take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard."christmas decor


That’s so Punny!

  • Hear about the cannibals eating a clown?  One said it tasted funny!
  • She was:
    • … only the fisherman’s daughter, but you should have seen her reel when I showed her my rod!
    • … only the jockey’s daughter, but all the horsemen knew her. (horse manure)
    • … only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.   
  • The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 
  • I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.   
  • A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.   
  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.   
  • A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.   
  • A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  • Two silk worms had a race.
  • They ended up in a tie.
  • A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.   
  • Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’   
  • I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.   
  • A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’   
  • A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’   
  • The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.   
  • The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.   
  • When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 
  • Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!


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